There is a popular fear of being alone, and by alone, many of us mean without a sexual partner. Yes, we want companionship and pleasant conversation and someone to laugh at funny movies with, but when we are weak, and when we want to get away, many of us suffer from too strong of a confidence in sex and relationship to provide that much wanted sense of relief.
This is both problematic and understandable. It is true that sex feels good for nearly all of us, and it can serve as a powerful distraction; as can being in a relationship, ripe with complexities and new discoveries. Cuddling with a partner feels nice. A man can feel strong when he holds a woman, and a woman can feel safe when she is held by a man. Praise God for husbands and wives who enjoy this truth.
But, lovely and wonderful as these things are, they can become idols; things in which we place too much hope, confidence, faith and trust. Much like a spouse or family or a church or a good job, sex is a good thing that makes for a dangerous idol when it is made to be the greatest thing. It is reliable to a fault, but only to a limited degree. And no matter how much of it you have, or how often you have it, you will still be called to carry the same cross. You will still bear the same scars, and in your pursuit of relief from a source other than God, you will likely incur some new ones.
In other words, maybe it’s time to stop worrying about who your person is, or where they are, or whether or not you’re with the right one, or whether or not you’re missing out on time with the right one. Maybe it’s time to give up control over your sex life to God, as you and your body are his anyway (1Cor 6:20).
It is true that it is better to marry than to burn with passion. God does not expect you to be immune to your passions. But it is also wise not to marry strictly for the sake of your passions. So be wise. She and you both will age, brother. Don’t trust a woman or an experience to give you the lasting relief and sense of peace that only God can. Your power comes from Him; not her.
Therefore, seek God, first and foremost. Do not let your passions or your desire for someone, be it forever or for tonight, overwhelm you. Rather, abide in Christ, and he will provide. He will sustain you. His grace is sufficient.